The wife was at the breakfast table. I hesitated for a bit
then said it. “You know, Rajat and Sunil will leave work early today. I can
come back early too, if you want.”
“Why?” the wife asked, as she buttered her
multi-grain toast. (I have no idea what the advantage of multi-grain is if you
are going to slather butter on it.) “Well, both Sonia and Rati are fasting for
Karwa Chauth. So, the boys want to be back home early as soon as the moon
rises.”
“Disgusting,” said the wife with an expression to back it. “Sonia,
at least, is an educated woman. Why the hell doesn’t she ask Rajat to fast for
her instead? I can’t believe that these women give in to these typical
patriarchal rituals.” My wife studied sociology in college.
“Nothing wrong with tradition, yaar,” I said in a
conciliatory tone, “and this one is about love. Nothing wrong.”
“Rubbish. I don’t know where you have got your silly ideas from.
Karwa Chauth is a ritual that comes from the martial communities of north
India, who had moved to settled agriculture. These people used to harvest grain
around this time and store grain in large earthen pots called Karwas. Around this time, the men around
Punjab and Rajasthan would leave for nomadic ventures. The fourth day or Chauth of the Kartik month was set aside
for a day long ritual to pray for the well-being of the males of the tribe. That
is the origin of Karwa Chauth.”
The wife was now on her sociologist’s pedestal now, from
where she looked down upon us MBA types. “As patriarchy took root in village
communities in the rest of North India the ritual of Karwa Chauth fed on local
matriarchal rituals and assimilated them. For instance in UP, the Karwa Chauth
rituals retain traces of old mother goddess cults, where the Karwa or pot stands for the womb.”
This was all going over my head. “I still haven’t understood
what is so wrong about it? How does it matter how it began as long as today it
is a romantic occasion?” I asked.
“Did you know about Karwa
Chauth before Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le
Jayenge?” the wife countered. “Yes, of course, I did. I have known it since
the time of Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. Heh
heh. ” The wife was not impressed with my joke. “That is exactly it. Karwa Chauth has been transformed into a
romantic ritual by Bollywood. And, that too the Bollywood, where no one is
poor, the only problems are those of emotions, where mothers and fathers and
sons and daughters-in-law have specific roles to play in the larger interests
of the parivaar.”
Bad mistake, to have brought this up. But, too late – the wife
had been unleashed. “This Karwa Chauth
that the wives of your colleagues (the
wife forgot to mention most of her own friends) celebrate, is a product of
Bollywood, advertising, and the market. What used to be a ritual for women in
some parts of North India has been spread by the market to the entire country.
It is like Valentine’s Day.
"What is worse is that its romance reinforces all
the traditional values of a patriarchal society. The good wife must fast for
her husband’s well-being, and that is the best way to express her love. The
husband, in turn, will give her gifts and protect her, because that is what
good husbands must be – providers.”
“Oh! Come one! Many husbands fast as well nowadays. And, let
me tell you, on Karwa Chauth day the
husband feeds the wife the first morsel and gives her the first sip of water,”
I said. I understand women’s liberation and all, but I don’t like traditions to
be belittled.
“Rubbish!” said the wife, using her favourite word. “The husband
feeds the wife on that day, only because it upholds the norm that the wife must
feed the husband on all other days. It is an exception to the rule that the
wife is responsible for the kitchen, while the husband has to provide what goes
into it.”
I didn’t want to argue any further. “Ok yaar. Don’t get so bitter about it.”
“But, that’s exactly what it is,” the wife said. “It is
Kadwa. It is the bitter fourth of the patriarchal month.”
Lo. Kallo Baat.
Awesome...I dont know if it is a piece of fiction or reality, but in either cases it made a wonderful read :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should be happy that you will still get dinner at home tonight, unlike many other men :p
excellent
ReplyDeleteHaha...Superb! It is 'Kadwa' :P
ReplyDelete